''There is no point being beautiful on the outside when you're not beautiful on the inside. Cos' it's not the looks that matter, but the heart that matters.'' ❦
You used to say, i'll always be on your side when i need you. Bullshit, what is this now? Do you know how much brain i had to crack when you said, i don't think you're my friend anymore. Ok, fuck this shit cos', i didnt even do anything to you. All i did was to be there when you needed a listening ear. Is there any problem with that? You say i'm intruding your life, when you are the one telling me everything that happened. You'd know what? I'm just being a supportive friend to you cos', i care about you, i treat you as one of my close friends. And after you had your very own boyfriend, you simply changed dramatically. I cant imagine how can my life go on without you. It's all gonna be alright, chika. You're a strong girl. I'll just move on.. as if nothing happened. She isn't your friend anymore. Don't think about her, just stay on task in life. My mood's been ruined early in the morning when i got a text. Not gonna say the contents, but you would be able to guess what happened based on what i've said just now. What have i even done to do all these? I hate all these bits of shit. I'm tired of being played around like a toy. I've decided, i shall not trust anyone easily.
I've been shedding tears for the past few minutes. I've been crying over things that have been broken. I've treausured our friendship, and you didn't even care! I told you that i'll always be 24/7 lending you my shoulders. I'm still a fool thinking whether i should apologize to you for all the things you accused me of doing, that i've never done. You never knew how important you were to me. So, all the things you told me were all meaningless? What's words when you don't mean it? I keep telling other people, stay strong!, when i can't. I love friends so much, but yet they love me so little. So i guess, i'm just an extra in this world, right? And that i shouldn't be born. I should hve suiided a long time ago, so that i wouldn't have to face this anymore. Yes, i know you may not believe me cos' i dont show it outside. Come to think of it, now is not too late to die.... I should escape from here and let everyone be happy cause i'm gone, forever.
#nowplaying: Just the way you are.
Should i conclude now? Cos', this is still a very short post. I do have some pictures to post, but i realised i didn't had to mood to. I hate being emotional, it sucks having to be the odd one out crying, while other people are smiling, cheering and laughing. No plans for today, i'm just gonna lie down on my bed and sleep till i'm alright. I hate being left out, talking among yourselves, saying things that i dont know. I feel really left out. I didn't change, you did. Ok, no offense, but i've to really rant it out here so i can feel better. You can all guess who is it, but i'm quite sure you'll never guess them.... But it's ok. I still treat them as my friends, and i do play around with them. I just feel more comfortable if you all can just... understand the situation i'm in. Oh, its not kirstin and angie, btw. I'm tired.
''When i see your face, it doesn't matter if you change. Cos' you're amazing, just the way you are.''
You make me glow like the bright moon, you make me shine like the sun, you make me feel secure as i was being tied by chains. When i look into your eyes, i just see something special in you. You are the one who makes me feel all wrapped up, and tells me not to be so stressed over things. You made me see the purpose of living. And i know that, you'll never know how much iloveyou. Hey dear, iloveyou like i love this world. Iloveyou like how i love my bestfriend. Iloveyou over everything. I can tell you, you are the sweetest boy i've ever met. I can promise you, the sweetest boy ever. You said you enjoyed the moments when we walked home together. I enjoyed it too. You made me flashback for a while, and i didnt realise myself smiling for a really long time. How much i love you? Too great, until the whole world explodes i tell you. How i wish you could see this but, i know i wouldn't be able to tell you anyway. :( Yeah, im a scared-of-everything type of girl. I'm not as confident as i was before. I can promise, he's the cutest, sweetest, most adorable boy i've ever met. Iloveyou. Sincerely, me. :)
To all those loyal readers out there,
I really want to know who reads all these wordy posts. Cos' sometimes i myself dont read wordy posts. If you've finished reading this post, please tag me okay. And if you want me to link you, the more you need to tag! I need more links, and for those blogs which are private, do invite. Message me if you want my email. By hook or by crook, i need to find out who's a daily reader of ohmymama's blog. I'll appreciate it if you could tag before leaving here everytime. Thkyou all. :-)